He's Gone

My beloved Uncle passed away on August 22, 2009 - he was 85 years old. 

We visited him that afternoon - we were so blessed to be able to see him one last time.  I kissed him, told him that I loved him, and told him not to worry about anything - I would always be there for my Aunties.

He passed away at 8:45pm that night.

I love you, Uncle Duke. 

Rest In Peace.

Uncle

I love my family...and it is times like these that make me realize just how much.

My Uncle is losing his battle with prostate cancer.  He has been fighting it for over 20 years and with his medication, had it under control.  Until about 6 months ago.

He looked thinner...he was tired...and a little cranky. 

After getting all the blood work done, the doctor could see the something was going on.   The medication that he had been taking for over 20 years was no longer effective and the cancer had spread to his bones.  He was determined to fight it and get stronger...but this damn thing got the better of him. 

He can't get out of bed and can barely talk.  He isn't eating much anymore, but is still taking small sips of water and juice.  The pain in his body is so unbearable - morphine is now administered to help him sleep.

My Auntie, his wife, is just so sad...I can't imagine losing the love of my life.  The mere thought gives me a knot in my stomach and tears flood my eyes.  My other Auntie, his sister, is stronger than I have ever seen her. 

We went to see him Thursday night with the boys...he LOVES his great-nephews.  I couldn't believe how thin and frail he was...but I smiled.  I gave him kisses and brought the boys to him.  He opened is eyes and he looked happy to see us.  I told him that I loved him and would he just get stronger so we could take him to Carson City?  Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I swear he winked at me.

After the boys wake from their naps, we will head over this afternoon and spend some time with him.  We'll watch the football games because he enjoys them so.

That man has been like a father to me since my Daddy died in 1989 and Mom followed 3 years later.  Life without him will be strange. 

I just keep thinking in my simple way that he is on his way to see his brothers, his parents, and joke around with my Mom like he used to.

Oh Uncle.  I just love you.

That's all.

You Want To Hear God Laugh?

Tell Him your plans.  I had organizational plans in the works - my sister was helping me straighten out my brain.  That went out the window...at least for now.

For the most part, everything is good.  The one exception:

I've been frantically working to get my Virtual Assistant business up and running, but that was waylaid by some financial issues.  The economy has taken its toll on me, that's for sure.  Long story short - my brother used my credit and his income to buy a house.  I should have listened to the folks that warned me about it, but I didn't and am paying the price.  The house is in foreclosure.  I'm petrified that this will affect the house I live in now, so I am working with a real estate attorney.  Please send all your good thoughts my way.

Now for the GOOD:

My little man was 4 months old on the 20th.  He now weighs 16 pounds and is 26 1/2" long.  I am so grateful that he is happy, healthy, and thriving. 

I turned 41 on the 22nd.  Happy Birthday to me!  We didn't do anything spectacular, but it was lovely nonetheless.  My fiance made Beef Milanese, I made a yummy salad and we enjoyed a low-key evening at home.  What a man!

We are adopting my fiance's newborn grandson.  His daughter isn't in a position to raise him, so we are going to.  Joseph Peter was born on 10/26/08 and he's been with us since.  What a sweet angel...and Bobby is enthralled by him!  It is really cute - he stares at him, babbles a bit and then wants to touch.  We have to be careful with that, though.  Bobby is so much bigger!

Part of me is scared - can I raise two infants 4 months apart without losing my last remaining marble?  I hope I do a good job - these boys need me and I won't let them down.  I just keep thinking - What would my mother do?

The other part of me is elated - these 2 boys will be the best of friends - they'll fight, but they will most definitely look out for each other.

It is hectic, crazy, sleep-deprived and overwhelming at times, but oh so worth it.

I finally have everything that I want or need. 

xoxo

Crazy Mama

Today is one of those days.  I feel just a tad bit loopy.

I have read articles on a boat load of websites and in magazines about organization, motherhood, writing, creativity, cooking, etc. and so forth. 

Oprah, Martha, Rachel Ray, Parenting, Family Circle, Woman's Day...

My house is still a sty. I am still obscenely unorganized.  Oh yeah,  I still have writer's block...which has been my constant companion since 2003, when I graduated from college with a degree in English Literature and finally determined that I LOVED writing. 

Since that revelation, all the creative muses have taken a hike.  I do have faith that I'll get it back again, once I set aside some time to focus.

For now, it is all about my son. He is thriving...he's happy and healthy, "talks" up a storm and LOVES his Baby Einstein mat.

Now that I think about it, taking care of him is really all I need right now.

Hello, my name is Julie.  I'm a disorganized, loopy, crazy mama.

Pleased to meet you.

xoxo

I'm So Sick of It

Why do people who are from metropolitan areas think they are above people from a small town?  Or that people who are from or currently live in the South are all gun-toting, bible-thumping rednecks without a single, intelligent thought?

Seriously, I don't give a rat's ass about anyone's political ideology.  Anyone registered to vote will choose the candidate that represents their beliefs and hopes for this nation.  Great.  That is what America is all about - and most definitely, register to vote!

However, I take issue with the mean-spirited, hateful, dare I say it, BIGOTED comments. 

Although I was raised in San Francisco, CA (my Dad was born and raised there), I have ties to the South and most definitely, to small town life.  My mother was from a teeny town in Missouri, her father's family was from Tennessee and I have cousins who live all over the South. 

My mother was open-minded, kind and gave everyone a chance.  She loved all kinds of music, film and literature.  Wow, what a concept!  A small town girl who actually enjoyed the arts! 

I can't vouch for rest of my family, but the ones that I know are NOT STUPID, backward, don't run moonshine, haven't married their cousins, don't chase people with their bibles or shout "TAAARGET PRACTICE" and wave their guns overhead with the Confederate Flag.   Good Lord. 

When people perpetuate these stereotypes, they make themselves look like idiots.  To me, it is some kind of superiority complex.

I try very hard not to judge people - doesn't always work and I sure as hell slip and say some things I'm not proud of.  But I try to give people a chance. 

Please, think before you speak.